They'll all start with the casual, "What have you decided to do?" or a "What's the plan?"
Till a year ago, it was just "Oh, which class are you in?"
Maybe followed by "Made good friends?" or empathizing comments on the increase in workload or curiosity on boarding school life.
But when you reach senior year, something pops in their heads.
Oh My God, Is This Girl Ready To Face the Mean World evaluations begin.
"So which grade are you in?"
"Where?"
"How's all the work going" [Translate: Getting good grades?]
"What do you plan on doing afterwards?" [Translate: Which college?]
And if your attitude in response is below satisfactory, they turn to the parents with looks of anxious confusion, hoping for a justification for the behavior.
I Mean, Its Goals and Dreams We've Reached!
And if to top it off, your parents attitude matches yours- they take it upon themselves to stuff sense into you, and your parents. [Clearly They couldn't Raise Her Properly.]
It is then they rise, as guardians, taking charge of the 'situation'.
Comments on friends and boarding school life disappear. Those are Distractions.
Replacing them come: "Well, it is your last year, if you haven't decided now, then when?"
And then they'll turn back to the parents with myauntsmotherinlawssonsbrothersfriend went to (random never heard of college name here), you should look over there for her!
They realize, by the way, that you're probably not a good enough student.
Because Good Enough Students have Goals and Dreams.
'Goals and Dreams' have absolutely nothing to do with...
who you are. As a person.
What you like. Because those are hobbies that don't earn you any good money.
What makes you happy. Because flexible people are happy wherever they land up.
Your 'Goals and Dreams' aren't yours.
They in fact, have nothing to do with you.
Furthermore, we've decided them for you:
a) Top College, (ranking and social values of location)
b) Well paying job...
You should know the rest...big house, happy parties, little children for whom you arrange play dates, teaching your little children to become good big children who will have 'Goals and Dreams'
Whoa, Your Screwed Up, pops in their head. Your Family is Also Screwed up, follows.
The whole point of working hard in our lives, according to me, is to have open choices.
To be able to answer, "I'll have them all" when you're asked red, green, yellow, blue?
Or simply getting asked that question.
Then why, if I've readily, with interest, worked hard in my life, should my Goals and Dreams be about which college is heard of and which job looks nice and pays well? I'm not the one stuck in a rut with no options.
If we've done all we could, options can surround us, we can simply get up and pick and be awesome at the real Goals and Dreams.
Labels: dadoo
